My ES2007S Project Group

Left to right:

Kazutoshi (Japanese Exchange Student), me and Dominique (Blogging Buddy)

Reflections

It has been eleven long and tiring weeks since I had started this blog. I never imagined this module to be so demanding and exhausting. Yet, to my surprise, it has been quite enjoyable as well.

I still think effective communication skills are very important in life. Communication is a part of everything that I undertake and it almost always determines how people view me and how relationships evolve. However, as I reflect on what I have done in and out of this module, I discovered another aspect of developing effective communication skills: it takes a lot of self-consciousness.

Often, I get too caught up in my emotions or have too many things on my mind that I unknowingly communicated things that I did not mean, causing some unhappiness. Sometimes, I give people a wrong impression with my non-verbal cues. I tend to frown a lot and many people think that I am unhappy with some thing that I am actually not upset with. It takes a lot of concentration for me to work at saying what I want to say and it is more natural to just react.

When I chose the title of this blog post, I recalled a song sung by Christina Aguilera and wondered to myself, ‘Is effective communication about telling others what I want them to know about me or is it about being myself and displaying to others who I really am?’

I decided that it is both: I want to tell people that I am a certain way because that is what I think I am and would like to be. As I was writing my job application letter and resumé, I struggled with what I should and should not write because I did not really know whether I was exactly the way I portrayed myself to be. I think to effectively communicate, one needs to be rather self-aware, which is currently not one of my strengths. I guess, it is something tangible that I can work on: to know myself better.

One skill that I have developed through the course of this module is catering to the people I am talking to, especially in a professional setting. For example, in writing a resumé, I do not ramble on things that they are not interested in and in presentations, I am aware of my audience and their interests and so angle my slides and scripts to better suit their level of understanding and needs. I would not say that I am a master of this, but I would like to think that I have become a lot more aware of the type of language and information I should give when speaking or writing to different people.

Thank you all for viewing and being a part of my blog. I do realise my comments and replies may have sometimes sounded too condescending. I hope you all would pardon those moments as I did not mean it.

Here is a song by popular demand. (Disclaimer: Though I like to sing, my voice is not really nice.)

All the best!

About me

I am currently studying for a Bachelor of Engineering degree in Materials Science and Engineering. As a typical Engineering student, I am known to be objective, analytical, realistic and disciplined, with a high consciousness of time. I love order. Things that I have, such as my files, must be organised in a sequential fashion before I feel at ease. I also love music. Whenever I have free time, I will sing my favourite songs or play the piano. However, what I enjoy most are times with my family and close friends and times I spend working with children. Being with these people always brightens up my day.

A quick and shortened recording

Development of My Inter- and Intrapersonal Skills

Among the many group projects that I have undertaken, I found this process of writing the survey report with Dominique and Kazu to have provided me the most positive learning experience. I have learnt some hard skills: using Survey Monkey, using more functions of Microsoft Word and Microsoft Excel. More importantly, some soft skills such as inter- and intrapersonal skills have also been gained.

An Interpersonal Skill
Through the times I had with the two of them, I have learnt more about building interpersonal relationships. I tend to be a more work-oriented person. Thus, in doing projects, especially with people I am not familiar with, I end up building only working relationships. However, from their examples, I have learnt that it is actually good to make effort to build friendships during group work. That can be done through asking questions and sharing your own thoughts and experiences. This provides more meaningful discussions and makes working together a lot more pleasant because there is a better understanding of one another.

Intrapersonal Skills
This semester has been the most difficult and tiring during the course of my study in NUS. In addition to the tight schedule given for this project, there were many things that I had to work on and many trying situations that I faced. It was really frustrating for me. One of the intrapersonal skills that I was forced to learn was to prioritise: what I want to do and what I should actually do to ensure that I fulfill my responsibilities as best as I could. I also learnt to be self-honest: what I am able to do and what I really cannot attempt. Even now, as I write this post, my own laptop is down and I do not have a computer at home (I am now using a friend’s laptop). Because of that, there are some things that I will be unable to undertake over the weekend and I have to do them whilst I have the required resources. Though I have not been able to manage my feelings very well so far, I have learnt to not react in some situations in consideration of the people who are around me.

I am thankful to my group mates for their friendship and a good time of working together for the report. I hope that we would be able to have a better time preparing for the presentation.

Expressing Friendship

Many occasions when I travel home using the North-East Line, I see many Indian men holding hands or being very physically close to one another. The way I see it, when men are that close to each other, they are likely homosexual. Thus I feel slightly uncomfortable at such a sight. However, I have been told that it is culturally acceptable for them to express their friendship in this manner. Because of this observation, I wondered what would happen if two people who display their friendships differently because of differing cultural norms become friends.

Before I write about the intercultural scenario that I have experienced, I would like to redefine what we normally would classify as a different culture. To behavioural scientists, culture is ‘the full range of learned human behavioural patterns’. These patterns tend to significantly differ between people from different countries or races. That is why when people mention cultural differences they are normally referring to differences in mannerisms between people due to their ancestry. However, I would like to suggest that schools also have their own cultures because people studying in different schools actually exhibit different behaviour patterns. As such, when people from different schools interact, intercultural communication actually takes place.

Scenario

A few weeks back, I sent my friend off at the airport. She studied in an all-girls’ secondary school, while I was from a co-ed school. Her secondary school classmates came to send her off as well. When they met, they hugged - their way of greeting, especially after not seeing each other for some time. However, I felt uncomfortable doing so. It was more normal for me to just say a ‘hi’, nothing too touchy-feely. When she was leaving, her friends gave her another round of hugs. I, on the other hand, could only manage a quick hug and a small pat on the back. It was a rather awkward moment for me and I think she was able to sense it through my actions as well.

It was however, in my opinion, a good example of being alert to cultural distance. She knew that I was not comfortable with such actions and did not ask for a hug. For me, I learnt to be versatile – to adjust my own comfort zone so as to show that I care for her as well.

The following day, I spoke to two other friends and we happened to talk about the differences between all-girls’ schools and co-ed schools in Singapore. One of them was from a co-ed school and she commented that girls from all-girls’ schools hug as a form of friendly affection and that she found it a bit awkward. The other friend was from an all-girls’ school and she confirmed that it is quite typical for her friends from all-girls’ schools to hug when they meet but that they would refrain from doing so when they know that their friends are not comfortable with it. Hearing that, I was glad because I knew that I did not misinterpret the situation.

This issue is actually quite insignificant. However, it made me think more about how every little circumstance in our lives makes up who we are and determines for us what we think is culturally proper or not. In a sense, subcultures are present in every unit of society and makes communication more difficult but a lot more interesting.

More about Hugs

The need for solar energy research

Just three weeks back, I read up about photovoltaics – the conversion of solar energy into electrical energy. This idea has been around since the late 19th century and we now see it being used to power calculators, some green designs and also many man-made satellites orbiting the Earth. It was thought to be able to take over the current environmentally unfriendly sources of energy. However, we have not seen it being implemented on a large scale mainly because of a technical barrier that current research has yet to overcome.

With the present advances in technology, it is possible that solar energy can become our main energy source. What it requires is more people working on this problem. In fact, with hope to contribute to this increasingly important area of research and development (among other objectives), the Singapore government has recently launched the Solar Energy Research Institute of Singapore (SERIS) in NUS. This would mean that NUS Science and Engineering undergraduates, who are trained in related technical aspects, have the opportunity to be involved in a noteworthy cause - to bring a sustainable energy source to the general public. However, many of the people I know do not intend to be part of this work. There are many possible reasons for this lack of interest among NUS Science and Engineering undergraduates, of which three I think are most salient. (1) They do not understand the importance of harnessing solar energy. (2) They view utilising solar energy at a large scale as impossible. (3) They do not know the opportunities available for them to do so.

Thus, my research question would be: How much do Science and Engineering students in NUS know about the importance and possibilities of harnessing solar energy?

With that in mind, I feel that an attitudinal survey is the most appropriate way of conducting the research. This is because to accept or reject the hypothesis, I would require a more quantitative approach, something that I can measure easily. Also, a survey would allow me to obtain information from a larger sample size so that my results will be more representative of the general public (provided proper sampling techniques are employed). However, as there may be other reasons that I have not anticipated, short interviews might need to be conducted to obtain a range of possible answers before I create my survey.

A news link for reference: http://www.sedb.com/edb/sg/en_uk/index/news_room/news/2008/new_national_solar.html

Parent-child conflict resolution

For many years, Carine has been struggling in her relationship with her mother. Her mother was very hard to please, never allowing Carine to do anything that she wanted. When Carine was a teenager, her mother dictated even the way she dressed and how she would spend her time. Many of her classmates then would laugh at her because of how childish she looked and this made her feel very awkward. It was also difficult for her to befriend others as she was not allowed to go for many of their parties or gatherings. Despite her unhappiness, Carine continued to obey her mother, constantly trying to remind herself that her mother is only doing this for her good.

Carine is turning twenty-two soon but her mother still restricts her in many ways. For example, she is not allowed to go for stayovers and has a strict curfew. She has tried speaking to her mother about giving her more freedom as she feels that she is no longer a minor and needs to begin living her own life. However, those conversations always ended up in a quarrel, Carine at the losing end.

Things became slightly more complicated when Carine entered a relationship. When she told her mother about her boyfriend, her mother was unhappy and felt that Carine should concentrate on her studies. Her mother also showed her displeasure every time Carine mentioned that she was meeting him to study, even though meetings with him were infrequent.

Carine cares for her mother and does not want the relationship to sour but feels very frustrated over the restrictions her mother has on her. She would like to have a discussion with her mother to come to an understanding. However, she is also afraid that things would turn out like before, in a standstill.

How should Carine approach her mother about her feelings so that they could work things out?